I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
