so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i would punch a child for taco bell
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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