its not stalking. its research.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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