bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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