We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
