Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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