I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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