You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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