New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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