If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
