I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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