Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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