Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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