Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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