One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
