At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
