Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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