Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
