Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
