the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
