I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
