Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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