I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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