I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think your dad took our porno
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
