I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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