What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
