He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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