it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
