you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
