Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
