I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
