I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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