We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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