on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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