Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
