By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
