I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
