I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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