Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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