in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize