Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
