i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
