My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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