we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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