I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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