in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
