dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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