Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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