i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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