i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
