Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I deserve this hangover.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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