you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My feet surprised me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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