Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
