You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
