What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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