The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
