Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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