just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
