Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
