Whoa Z and x make the same sound
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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