she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
