Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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