I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize