rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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