Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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