she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
