you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
