2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There r osticjed everywhere
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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