"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
